Narrative Genealogy "Papa Daddy Mysteries" by Ellie James

Excerpts from Robert Kurson interviewing OJ for Crashing Through

Here’s something your mom said to me on the first day I met her. We were talking about how kids end up with an appetite to know and explore the world. It was late in the day, after I’d had a car accident near Chico and had nearly cancelled my appointment with her. I’ve thought differently about parenting, and my own kids, ever since, especially when things seem hard. Best appointment I ever kept in my life.

OJ: I think it happens because your parents encourage you to explore, and they’re not always saying, no, no, no, don’t do that. It’s really hard to just let go and let your child try, to not protect them from everything. I had to remind myself of this often, it’s hard.

Favorite OJ Quotes

"Another thing I did a lot was ride my horse by myself, which I was not allowed to do. But I did it anyway. We had what my family called watucheros(?), bandits. They could have kidnapped me or killed me, any number of things. I just ignored that and went wherever I wanted to on my horse. I just loved to explore. I’d get 10 miles away from home. I’d explore the mountains, animals ­ but mostly it was the feeling of being free, of being off by myself."

"My father and mother taught us a work ethic. From the time I was small I was traveling with my father to buy cattle, sitting in business meetings with him for many hours that I thought would never end, then sit for the big meal afterward that also lasted hours. I learned to be patient and work hard. And look at the example my father set about never giving up: he lost everything in the depression and came back and made another success of himself."

"My father died at 62 from a coronary thrombosis. He’d had a heart attack and the doctor had told him he couldn’t ride a horse anymore. He just ignored it and said, "If I have to live that way I’m not going to live." He didn’t die riding but it didn’t help. He wasn’t willing to live confined and against his spirit. I felt the same way, that I wouldn’t want to live confined in any way."

"I thought it was very good for kids to be involved in everything they could and that’s how I treated Mike. This wasn’t because I thought it was good for a blind kid - I thought it was good for any kid. "

"I flunked retirement four times. I’ll tell you about that later."

"One thing that gave me real confidence is the experience I’d had with my father and my own family. We’d had a lot of money, then he lost it all in the States in 1930. I saw him come back and recover to get even better. I’d seen my mother when she went back and learned to teach. I watched my father when he took me to buy cattle and I saw you could depend on your self and wits and hard work."

More Q & A

How did you feel when you found out as a girl that your parents had eloped?

I thought it was exciting. That took a lot of guts in 1922, to leave your family and all you knew and take off for a foreign land. I was very proud of them and wanted to be able to do that myself ­ not necessarily eloping but something that was that different and risky.

Anything in your childhood that foretold becoming the kind of mother you became?

First, my parents and how they raised me. But also the fact that we lived in a foreign country and we had to learn to conform to their way of doing things, but at the same time be ourselves. I think that was one of the important lessons my parents gave to me ­ to be myself, to believe what I believed in.

What were your girlhood dreams?

To work in a foreign country as part of a diplomatic corps. Our friends were from all different parts of the world and life. I can remember having huge discussions with a Russian family that was down there; at 14 I talked to this Russian man about how the Russians could come down to Chile and spend all this money at the hotel when everyone is supposed to be equal.

I was very active at a very young age with social issues and politics, and I discussed it openly there. I felt free even as a young girl to express myself.

What were you doing at Enchanted Hills that struck people as special?

I encouraged the counselors to encourage the kids to have fun. That was the thing ­ having fun. A lot of the counselors from Europe were a little crazier than the ones in the US and that was good. They devised Halloween and grotesque costumes ­ of course it didn’t matter that they couldn’t see the costumes - we made a spook house. I’d encourage the counselors and campers to explore bugs, flowers, trees. In the horse program they learned to shovel manure, groom the horse, pick its hooves, bathe them, ride bareback. Taught them to swim, that was very important. I didn’t want to coddle them any more than I did Mike at home.

There was always this controversy about the ropes. EH had ropes and some places didn’t believe in it. I didn’t see what the big deal was. You didn’t have to use them if you didn’t want to. EHC story featuring a description of Enchanted Hills Camp by Director OJ May with music by Mark Dowlearn. EHC poem by Ray Wheeler.

Did you listen to American music when you lived in Chile?

American songs were prohibited so I didn’t hear a lot of them. But my favorite song was "Don’t fence me in" and another of her more modern favorites is "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head."