Warm Fuzzies

It's Christmas, so not the worst time to write (though a bit late). The May household was a second family for me back in the late 70s and early 80s when I lived in California, and Christmas was part of that... OJ was both the same and so different from the way she was at camp. At the camp, she was the boss who set the rules, but beneath the sometimes hard cover there was a heart that never stopped glowing (and there was that smile that she couldn't stop from appearing despite her best efforts). At home, it was all heart and smile and generosity.

I read somewhere on this site that OJ used to refer to those "crazy Europeans." Well, I suppose I was one of 'em. She used that term endearingly whenever I (or one of my fellow crazies) did something inexplicably silly (such as: recreating the Eiffel Tower near the lake, or running off with her car). I suppose Sola, the (Finnish) grounds keeper, was also a "crazy European" to OJ, though in his case strictly in his own inimitable way!

The thing about OJ was that she made it look like she ran the place with iron hand, but really what she was doing was to create an environment in which an alternative reality could take shape, with its own rules set by all of its participants, and subject to change. In this sense, she created a place of total freedom, a place that, also given the characters assembled there, generated loads of creativity (and I am not referring to the food fights here, though those were a lot of fun, too).

In this environment, I discovered talents I had no idea I had, or harbored, or could summon. I thought I was a bit of a conventional guy. I still am. But not at camp. Nope. What OJ did in my case (and in different ways with everyone else) was to set loose the "crazy European" in me; there had been no such thing before entering the gate; she created it. I am hugely thankful to her for that (it still carries over sometimes in daily life, except now that I live in Europe, I suppose I do things because of the "crazy American" in me....)

The other thing about OJ is that when she made that accusation ("oh, you crazy European!"), she always said it with that knowing little smile, and I didn't know why, at least not until I read some of the stuff "About OJ" on this site. It turns out she used to do "crazy" things all the time herself in earlier days. And now she was just seeing in others all the wild stuff she used to do herself, and she recognized it as the right thing for others to do, and she wanted to encourage it.

I was one of the beneficiaries, and I intend to carry on the legacy. Thanks a bunch, OJ!

Joost

I wanted to offer my sincere sympathy to the May family - in the 70's I was a neighborhood kid who'd lost his mom to cancer and they essentially took me in as one of their own. As I was snively and unathletic, sometimes I didn't appreciate the input I received, but now that I have kids of my own, I realize that parenting isn't necessarily a popularity contest! It is almost impossible for me to believe that she raised 5 kids while keeping her sanity! A testament to her strength.

When I was 16 I spent a summer as a volunteer at EHC and it was a very valuable experience for me. I wish you all the best.

When I was 16 I was offered an opportunity to be an intern at Enchanted Hills Camp. OJ's amazing grace and leadership gave me one of the greatest experiences of my life that summer. Although it was 25 years ago, I apply those learnings in my business and teaching professions today.

One of my fondest memories of the camp was: In the middle of the night I was wakened by a group of young teens who were partially sighted. I guessed they felt I was the most gullible and was asked to lead a toilet paper raid on the boys camp. In my ardor of youth, I accepted. Needless to say, we did a fantastic job. Of course I was found to be the counselor to take the children. I was called to OJ's office and was asked only one question, "Why?". I responded that these children would not usually be invited on such ventures by their peers in the world outside of the camp and I wanted to give them the opportunity. I looked at her and KNEW I was about to be sent home. She looked and me and smiled and said "OK". That was the end of the reprimand. I didn't repeat my actions though!

At this point I knew why her son was so successful, OJ saw all children needing an opportunity to have every possible experience (even if was TPing a camp). OJ's legacy is every camper she touched, her children and every person who ever had contact with any facility and program she worked with. This includes parents and children of people who had contact with OJ. She made us SO aware of what peoples needs were whether they were sighted or not. She has had a ripple effect throughout the world through her teachings and leadership.

I have lots of great memories of my second mom. The most memorable was at Halloween. When we came to Ori Jean's house "trick or treat" ment a trick or some kind of entertainment if you wanted a treat. I remember singing a lot. Ori Jean had a great sense of humor and was very fun to be around. I look forward to seeing you all tomorrow. Sorry for the late input.

Love, Linda

I grew up with OJ's daughter Margie. We met when I was eight and remained friends for many years. OJ was like a second mother to me through grade school and secondary school. I spent numerous hours at her house in Walnut Creek and at Enchanted Hills. I have nothing but good memories of this strong and courageous woman. She was an early hero and mentor to me. I will never forget all that she meant to me as a young girl growing up.

Jennifer

I worked at Enchanted Hills for three summers, 1976, 77, and 78, some of the time with my younger brother, Glenn. I always remember O.J. being supportive fun, kind and very tolerant!!

I remember she commented to me one time that I was choosing a career as a social worker "rather late in life" and I was irritated by that! I thought at the ripe old age of 28 that I just took a little more time than perhaps others to decide to go back to graduate school and earn an advanced degree. Looking back, I think this might have been her way of gently telling me that I had screwed off long enough and it was time to get serious, which, of course, she was right!!

I like to think that it was those words of encouragement that helped keep me focused on my goal! I am happy to say that I successfully completed graduate school and have enjoyed a long and meaningful career as a social worker that spans thirty years!

I will never forget OJ and many of the people that I worked with at Enchanted Hills. It was a very magical time in my life!

Ed

Hello Mike and family.

It's hard to add to what has been obviously a common thread to all these memorials. I have to agree what my friend Liz (who I haven't seen in many years) said when she talked about having OJ hire her for EHC took a tremendous leap of faith. To this day I don't know why I got hired but that too set me on a career path that still exists today.

I guess the best gauge of how well a person is remembered in passing is how they're remembered in life and how their living affected the lives of others. Judging from all the postings, I'd say that OJ is going to be remembered with the best of them.

I know that sorrow gets left to the living, and although I'm sure she's just fine where she's at right now, I too miss her and feel for you guys who miss her more.

Take care and have a great memorial at EHC

Craig

One amazing gift that OJ gave to me was unconditional acceptance even when I wasn't able to do that. She had a way of letting you be who you were. That was a very big step for me to take. I think that's why I feel part of my heart resides at EHC. I found my heart and began the path of really taking a look at who I was.

I love you OJ

Love and hugs Greg

I met O.J. at the Terraces Retirement Community, where I worked. She was one of my favorite residents there. She was so caring and aware of people's feelings. She really listened when you spoke to her, and understood, and cared about what one said. She did not "sweat the small stuff". She never asked for or expected anything special, except, lemons!! One morning, I was visiting my mom, and was trying to force myself to wake up, and get out of bed, when I heard a very familiar voice on the T.V. I opened one eye, and lo and behold, there was O.J., all dressed in purple, on Sunday Morning, the T.V. show!!!!! What a lovely woman, and beautiful spirit. I love you Ori Jean!

Lisa

My first year at Enchanted Hills was my first time away from home. Camp was fun but also at little scary too. OJ's kindness and easy smile made it a pleasant experience and her sense of fun made her very endearing to me and many other campers. She made Enchanted Hills a home away from home and was a huge part of my joy in Enchanted Hills. We all loved her and she will be truly missed. All I can say is that if we all keep her in our memories then she's not really gone at all.

My sympathy and thoughts to her family

Misty

Last night, August 25, we celebrated Jennifer's 50th birthday with 3 couples as guests of Stevie Wonder at his concert at Harvey's in Lake Tahoe. We had seats in the 4th row. The music was incredible. Stevie hasn't lost a bit of his amazing talent.

Mid way through the show, he said the following, "It is time to introduce the band, but first, I want to introduce my friend Mike May. He too recently lost his mother. I know she is smiling down on us. I'd like to dedicate the next song to Mike's mom." After introducing the band, he played one of his many number one hits, I Just Called To Say I Love You. Stevie assures me that if I think or pray loud enough, OJ will hear the call.

I worked with O.J. for quite a few years, and was there during several of her "retirements". She was the "social director" of our Little Theater Group. Always rounding us up and making sure everyone had fun. She was a joy to know and a wonderful friend. When picking her up one evening for dinner in 1994, I was enchanted by the sound of the breeze blowing though the stand of southern pine behind her villa. When she moved out of the villa, she talked me into moving in, telling me "I could do it". That was over 12 years ago and I'm still there. O.J. was always helping, teaching and encouraging. She held the mortgage, helping me to purchase it until I paid it off. I sit here remembering all the fun.

Love, Karen

Dear Family of OJ,

I had the pleasure of knowing your mother over the years. My husband and she had conversations about people whom they mutually knew in Chile.

Your family celebration for OJ was a beautiful tribute to her life. I enjoyed reading her philosophy of life and have shared it with my familiy.

OJ was a unique individual and is already being missed. She has left her family and friends with beautiful memories. Edie

Memories of OJ

When we were having our Spanish class and we would say "Why is that?" She would say "don't ask, just do it."

Once when she was living with Theri, she asked her Spanish class to a lunch. Everything was delicious. More like a dinner than a lunch.

When we went out to eat, you would know that she would want to go to a Mexican restaurant. OJ would say "now order your meal in Spanish." I made a try at it.

I will always remember her and her little dog that we all seem to like.

One of OJ's Spanish students, Dorothy

I met OJ through my Mother (Ruth Short) when they worked together at the Marge Brewster Center in Sebring. OJ was always full of life and had a happy peaceful spirit that she shared for others. Her love for children was evident in her work and would treat my kids in very special and caring way when she saw them.

I remember visiting her and staying at her place a few times, she was so hospitable. She often spoke fondly and respectfully of her children and she had excitement and praise for Michael and his accomplishments, especially with his GPS-Seeing computer for people that needed assistance with their sight. I think he saw something in his invention that people with perfect eye sight could never see.

I thank God I was able to meet OJ and that she was such a good friend to my Mother.

My prayers go out to OJ’s family; may God bless you all. John Short

To all family and friends of OJ:

I am so sorry to hear that OJ had passed this evening. My condolences to all that new her. I am a horse trainer now which has a lot to do because of OJ's influence. I started EHC in 82 at age seven. In my hometown there was not a lot of programs for the visually impaired so I was not used to doing for myself. That first year she took a small interest in me (to me it felt very large of course and am still very grateful for that). She introduced me to Saheebe a gentle old gelding. She told me that I could do anything that any other kid could do and made me believe it. Her last year at the camp there was a mare named Diamond. She allowed me to ride. I did not know at the time that the other preteens were not allowed to ride her. That year she and her daughter drove my sister and I part of the way home. When she and my mother met up she told my mom about riding the mare and asked how often I rode at home. My mom told her that the only access to horses I had was at the camp. OJ was the first person to tell me I had lots of talent with horses. She inspired me to get out of my comfort level and try something new and for that I will always be grateful. She was a great lady that I wish I could have gotten to know her better.

Sincerely, Tom (Tommy) Dukes

Patrick,

I didn't know your mother but I felt somewhat of a connection after reading Crashing Through. I got a glimpse of a loving, genuine, pleasant, wise woman who imparted wonderful values to her children and probably others she encountered along the way. I fully respect her tenacity to meet challenges head-on. This "can do" attitude seems to resonate throughout your family...and it appeared to have been a part of the legacy passed down from her father. I pray that this legacy continues to be passed on to subsequent May generations.

Please accept my sincere condolences to you and the rest of your family.

Mickey

By the time I was old enough to remember O J was at the University of Texas.

But on the mantle at Mamacitas and Papas was a photo of her as Sweetheart at U T. She was so beautiful!!!

When I was in the service and based in Monterrey I would drive up and visit the May's in Walnut Creek and she treated me wonderfully as only an Aunt would.

When I drove up with Cynthia to visit many years later OJ introduced Cynthia as my fiance. And the rest, as they say is history.

We love you Ori Jean!

Skip

What a world we live in! Here I am across the country, and this website reaches me with news of OJ's passing. It caused a serious pause in my day--I simply cannot fathom a world without OJ. I met OJ while I was in HS in Walnut Creek and spent four summers with her at Enchanted Hills. She was an inspiration, a mentor, a role model, a surrogate mom and a friend. While I have not seen her since the Paralympics here in Atlanta (1996), she's never been far from my heart. When you read about all her accomplishments, all the things she was active with, and her role as a single parent, all I can say is WOW. And yet, she always had time. I hope, as one person wrote, that she truly is sitting on a cloud with Sola, having a cocktail, and smiling down at those she left behind.

Until we meet again, dear friend! Meanwhile, I send love and prayers to your precious family.

Lori R.

Hello to Mike and family,

Firstly, I want to express my most sincere sympathy and condolence to the May family in the passing of OJ. OJ was my friend and colleague, and after meeting her I was soon to feel like one of the family. I will miss her and will always have so many heart filled and joyous memories from knowing her. I met OJ, in the summer of 1975 at Enchanted Hills Camp for the Blind, where she had asked me to give a one week orientation to the counselors who would be working at the camp that summer. In addition, I would be in charge of the camp, along with Mike, to hold a one week session with the largest group of deaf-blind multiply handicapped children ever assembled at one time in the U.S., close to 70 kids with one to one counselors. I was to help orient the counselors to what it meant to be "blind". Since OJ hired all the counselors based on their zest for life, noone had any experience working with people who were blind. OJ didn't feel that was a priority, since it was who the person was first, not that they were blind or anything else. But she wanted me there none-the-less, and I learned how close we were in how we thought about blindness. It was a perfect match that would fuel our friendship and also with her other children, Theri, Diane, Margie, particularly Mike, and also with (the transportation commander) Patrick.

I continued this orientation with the camp counselors for a few more summers. Mike and I did so many sports together, starting so many sports programs involving blind people, I also kept in touch with OJ through all this. In 1982, I was accepted in the joint doctoral program at San Francisco State/ UC Berkeley and OJ offered me a room in her home in Walnut Creek as a place to live when I started the doctoral program. During this year, I spent quite a bit of time with OJ.

I would come home late most evenings from school and find her still up watching the news on TV, reading, just relaxing after her work day or from classes she was taking getting her Masters Degree in counseling. All the kids were pretty much gone, except for an occasional Theri or Margi. These were the fondest of times I had with OJ. It was then, over a glass of wine on these late evenings, that we would talk about educational philosophies, blindness, family dynamics and the world. I learned from these conversations how proud she was of her children and how much she loved them. She will always be remembered and cherished. Love to you all. Ronaldo

To me, OJ was always Frances' little sister, but she was also my Aunt and a charming neat lady. We were able to spend a lot of time with her when she moved to Florida and the Orr family certainly has fun and wonderful memories of her time there. It is hard to write about OJ in the past because she was always such a presence. I know that this presence will always be felt in our family. We will miss her and send our sympathies to Diane and her family, Mike and his family, Patrick, Theri and her husband and Margie and her family. To all of you our love and prayers.

Jeannie, Tom, Kristy and David, Shane and Trevor

I still say she was Homecoming Queen at the University of Texas and our kids perpetuate that. In any case she was A Longhorne!!

I first met your mom when I had moved into The Lodge at Sierra Sunrise Village, later, the Terraces. I got mail for her, since she had moved to a different apartment from the one I moved into. I found in her a tendency to fight for what is right that I shared as we saw the way things could be improved.

It was later, when she moved back to the Lodge in the apartment below me, that our friendship renewed. I have particularly appreciated when she shared her family with me at several meals. I am sorry that she did not meet my son and his family, when they were here in July. She saw his picture, "who" and expressed regret at not meeting him. Too often fleeting moments disappear and are lost. OJ will be sorely missed, here at the Lodge.

My sincerest sympathy to each of you, her family.

Elizabeth

Mike,

Just a note to express my condolences on the passing of your mother. My brief time with her was a powerful learning experience for a young idealistic kid trying to make my way in the world. Her contribution to the world's best outdoor experience for the blind is surpassed by none. She was able to strengthen and build upon the camp which left a lasting contribution.

Your friend, Dan

I listen to the EHC story and it brings tears to my eyes. 30 years later, I recognize the voices, I remember the music and I remember the woman who made it all happen.

EHC changed my life. It set me on a career path; it solidified what I believed about what blind and visually impaired people could (should!) accomplish. It was the most emotional, important and impactful part of my life. I think that OJ hired me initially because Mike and I were friends. None of us knew that it would set me on a path that would shape my life.

I used to think that my exposure to what is positive about being blind was due to my friendship with Mike May. But that innate knowledge of what it takes to raise a great blind kid stemmed from OJ. I passed her legacy on to every family of a blind or visually impaired infant or preschooler I served through Blind Babies Foundation. OJ was uncommonly brave, unceasingly supportive of her child. What did it take for her to stifle the natural reserve and protection that others feel when faced with her challenges? No matter what it was--she did it with abundance. Her legacy lives in the many, many families I hear from 25+ years later. She was a true super-star. The exemplary mother.

OJ was tough, as a boss and a mom. She was both no nonsense and fun loving, a contradiction I didn't appreciate until many years later. She was a role model for me in many ways, and a one of a kind woman. I admire, value and treasure having known her.

Liz

Hello Mike,

I am more than sad to hear this.

OJ did so much for life people, kids, camp, and I'm sure things I will never know. She was a champion for causes of all types and is unforgettable. She told me things I don't forget to this day and I am thankful I was able to know her. She was and is special to many people and we feel the loss.

While we are here we must make the most of it. This day, week, year, what ever.

Well think I'll get some quiet time and some rest, let me know more and my heart is with you, talk soon I hope take care blessings, Felix

I also wanted to share with you that OJ was a candidate to be an organ donor. Yesterday afternoon the skin from her back was grafted to the body of a severe burn victim. She lives on.

Diane

I cannot begin to sum up how sad I am to hear of her passing. At one time Ori was one of my closest friends. Lately we had progressed to calling each other and going out to lunch. She made me laugh and shared so much with me. We had my 3 year old grandson's baby shower at her house. I had planned on having it at another lady's house but canceled due to her prejudicial attitude regarding my son and his honey's lack of marital status. She had made some rather horrible remarks. She had said that "the baby would go to hell as he was a sinner due to his parents not being married." I had been pretty upset by that and had told Ori about it. She was indignant that anyone could say that about an unborn baby and volunteered her house for the baby shower instead. And so we did have the shower there and it turned out wonderfully.

And that was just how she was- nurturing, sweet, open minded and caring with a quirky sense of humor. She was very protective of those she loved and would bend over backwards to help anyone. She had a big heart. She is greatly missed.

A light has truly gone out on earth but now shines in heaven as I know she is smiling down on us. Ori I miss you.

I have only known O.J. for a few months. We met through our dogs: O.J.'s Monita and my puppy, Chloe. I do not easily connect with a lot of people, but I sensed that O.J. was special and believe we both felt that connection and became friends.

I will miss her very much, and my thoughts go to all her family and loved ones. Dina

Dear Mike and Family,

Everyday when I go to work I have the opportunity to be drenched in memories of EHC. I am but one the keepers of crazy antics, glorious moments and counselor 'secrets' of the "old days" when OJ reigned at camp - and I am blessed because of having those great experiences, especially those involving your mom! OJ, the campers and the magic of camp hooked me into this field of ours, something I clearly have not been able to forget, or leave. OJ challenged, ignited, and allowed (sometimes with pause) the creativity and teacher in me to find my path through camp. I am very fortunate to have been one of her counselors, that could never quit going to camp! I will be thinking of you, Patrick, Teri and your families - but I will also be thinking of OJ, as she is probably sipping on cocktails with Sola on a fluffy, sun-filled cloud above camp!

I will see you at camp in October to toast her yet one more time with a camp full of stories and memories.

Warm Fuzzies to you all, Kathy

Dear OJ,

How thankful I am that you entered my life when you did, and that you took the risk to hire me at Enchanted Hills in 1975 after nothing but a telephone interview between a college kid in Providence, Rhode Island and you in California. We both used to laugh about that interview. You voiced concern that, because I was a religion major, you would be getting a religious fanatic as a camp counselor. I replied that if you knew about the Religious Studies department at Brown, you might be worried about getting a libertine with no faith at all.

At that time, I was at loose ends in so many ways. To say that I lacked self confidence, direction, and self esteem would be kind of an understatement. OJ, that EHC job was just what I needed to begin to build those qualities. Everything you ever said to me, every assignment you ever gave me, and everything you expressed to me with that quiet loving tone of voice of yours conveyed confidence and faith in my abilities, my goodness as a person, and my eventual success. You were so much like a mother to me when I really needed it but would never have admitted it, and when everything my own mother did and said got me angry, upset, or just got on my nerves.

What a significant hole you filled in my life. I owe you an eternal debt of love and gratitude.

With love, Rick

OJ was my Aunt. She was so very glamorous to me when I was a youngster. When I was a kid I remember she smelled of a luxury perfume called Taboo. Perhaps it is a metaphor for how she lived her life in a way. I wanted to be like her and remember buying that perfume when I was a "grown-up". It wasn’t that OJ treated me like a peer exactly but she made me feel special and approved of. We had several adventures together over the years. We met in Austria at Mike’s 3rd Olympic games and had a magical time in the Alps.

When we were living in Australia she and my Mother came for a visit. She was so delighted with the animals there especially the kangaroos which she christened Wee Roo’s as we lived on Weeroona drive it was highly appropriate. She had a way with language making special words up to interpret situations, people or places. She videoed everything and it is the best video of our time in Australia.

She lived life with gusto and I don’t ever recall hearing her complain about anything!! I can only imagine how her children and siblings are feeling at her passing. I have a big hole in my heart. The only thing that makes me feel better is to remember her style, wit, humor, and candor. I am sure she has a few changes she will be making wherever she is.

Love, Mary Lynn

I remember the first time I met OJ. It was a number of years after I came to the LightHouse and I knew there was a variety of points of view about her and her role at EHC over the years. When I met her, I immediately knew she was someone worth knowing and that I had missed out on her knowledge and experience by not contacting her myself.

She was so warm and gracious when we met. I was touched by that.

What a wonderful role model and support she has been to you and your family.

Anita

Yes, it is always too soon. But how thankful I am that your mom had such a full life. And that she was able to read Crashing Through! Which I really think was a book about OJ May, as much as it was about Mike. It was a delight to get to meet her in Sacramento a couple months ago. Every time I say "go for it" when the boys want to do something ridiculously crazy I think I'm getting a little closer to my goal of being like OJ when I grow up.

Dad passed away last November, and it is still so hard when there's stuff I want to tell him or show him.

Love and best wishes to both of you and your family,

Sue

Mike,
I am so sorry to hear this. What a blessing that we all got to spend quality time with her at your book signing. I felt such a surge of motherly love from her during the few minutes she and I spoke. That was the first time I've experienced that strong sense of motherly love since I lost my own mother and I felt very surprised and grateful.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Love, Cathy

Ah, Mike. I know what she meant to you. It is unfathomable that she is gone, yet I am grateful that it was quick and painless.

I'm thankful too that I got to see and visit with OJ one last time on the boat trip. She was influential in my professional development, and I can't imagine what my life would have been like if she had not taken a risk and hired me at EHC in 1975. It goes without saying that she was a phenomenal mom for a blind kid--or any kid. She really was--to quote a dumb song and be slightly corny--the wind beneath your wings.

I'm so sorry my friend, for your loss. It is just too hard sometimes to face this phase in our lives. Somehow we have become the 'grown-ups' and our leaders and protectors are leaving us one by one.

Please know how much this news affects me, and how I feel for your experience. I'm with you in heart and spirit.

Love, Liz